04 December, 2008

Snow Thing

To the Tune and Cadence of "Wild Thing", by Ton Loc

Let's throw it
Workin' all week drivin' home on empty tummy
Rollin' down the street I made to turn into my driveway
I turned my wheel and got the feel of my car a slippin slidin
I hit the brake but it didn't take and I landed in the garden
Thought 'Of course I'm stuck, it's just my luck, I do this annually'
So I locked the door and grabbed my pizzas to feed my fam-i-ly
I told my wife and then my kids that Daddy didn't git far
My wife said, "Man, one of these years, you're gonna hit MY own car"

Snow thing (Say What?!)

Diggin' out my tires kneeling down and sweepin' snow
My puffy pants and face mask on I'm a gangsta Eskimo
Straightened my tires rev'd up my four and put it to the floor
Shot into the street I parked it neat and turned to work the pow-der
I sauntered up the drive and I opened the third bay
I topped off the tank & hit the starter... I didn't want to wait all day
The garage's red and green and white lights didn't remind me none of Spring
I thought "Man I'm warm and cozy and I kind of dig this crazy Snow thing"

Snow thing
I love to do that Snow thing
Snow thing
Shoot it far and wide

I blew the drive I blew it hard I went on the attack
I even got the stuff that the plow guy had put back
Crisscross I went like a frosting drizzle in a grid pat-tern
Up and down and in and out, Man I was nurturing the burn
I went up to the neighbor's damn they'd already been blowin'
Good thing their little putt putt hadn't done much more than sidewalk rubbin'
I cleaned 'em good like I should my lines true and straight and long
And when I finished I cocked the chute and shot the rest on their front lawn

Snow thing
You can't keep me from chillin'
You're comin' down and I'm comin' up
And I'll meet you in the middle

Goin' down to Joey's place I see something awry
There are thrower tracks on the sidewalk all the way up to MY driveway!
I'm used to blowin' ALL the walk to ease his access-ing
'Oh no!' I think, I'm quite disturbed, Joey'd fired up HIS Snow thing!

Say WHAT?!?
That ain't right
Snow thing
Joey's job was tight
Yeah...that guy can throw the snow
He's got RANGE.....

Snow thing

So let me tell you playa with your shovel and your blower
That you're not supposed to drive home in the snow like you're in a big bull dozer
Not when you're driving a car of plastic that gets hung up on the edging
You might end up paying a guy with a truck to hook up and do his Snow thing

Say what?
I ain't payin' no towing
Yeah, I'm gonna keep diggin' it out myself, Man
I'm gonna push pull and tug on that thing until it moves
And then I'm gonna light up my thrower and make it right
Yeah Man next year I'm gonna make that turn, my wheels will bite
Bite this you crazy

Snow thing....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Excellent Dan, excellent. You got the grove.


P.S. Perhaps the Muse will whisper in your ear for another installment with today's snow (Friday Dec. 19).

We really do have to do a coffee thing soon ... just no time.