31 December, 2011

What New Years Means to Me - Pt. II

When I was three, I threw a baseball off the Earth, and the next year, I was hoping we would hit it and it would cause a big crater. I was so young and naive, then, in the ways of orbital mechanics.

Silly me. Little did I know that it had never achieved escape velocity, and it ended up killing a donkey in Tijuana about a week after I'd thrown it up. I guess the performer was po'd at the loss of her income.

- From "What The New Years Means to Me", by Dan Reams (shopping a publisher)

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