21 October, 2007

My wife has succumbed to the bean

Our relationship evolved something like this.

Stage 1 - Denial -- "You can't really like coffee that much."

Stage 2 - Anger -- "Do you realize how much you're spending each week on coffee!?  It's basically just dirty water!!"

Stage 3 - Bargaining -- "Right then.  How about this.  You can take $25 a week and do what you like with it, coffee-wise.  No more."

Stage 4 - Depression -- "We have to up your life insurance policy, because with the amount of coffee you're consuming, you'll be dead within a few short years."

[Note: I responded to stage 4 with numerous articles about how coffee drinkers are smarter, live more active lives, may possibly be avoiding heart and other diseases, etc.  Thus, stage 4 was rather brief.  I wore her down.]

Stage 5 - Acceptance -- Weekend mornings she would say, "Make your coffee nowYou're a bear without it, especially when you get those headaches."

Stage 6 -- Possession/Sequestration into the Cult -- This just in as of two days ago, via cell phone to me at lunch, after about three months of making morning pots for her and putting them in a thermal dispenser for her to use throughout the day as she takes care of our toddler and another lady's almost-4 year-old:  "Oh my God!  I totally get why you drink this stuff!  Even though I only had a few hours of sleep last night, I feel like I can conquer the world today!  As I'm talking to you right now I'm even cleaning!  Sure...like you, I'll probably have to crash eventually and pay for all this, but until then...woooo!"

Another one has joined us.  It took years, but it was inevitable.  Conform or be cast out!  Long live the bean!

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